


Once Has Been, and Always Will Be

by ObtuseOctopus



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Inspired by Poetry, Random & Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29956056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObtuseOctopus/pseuds/ObtuseOctopus
Summary: Short random piece that takes place after “Barnmates”.Bold = LapisItalics = Peridot
Relationships: Lapis Lazuli & Peridot (Steven Universe)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Once Has Been, and Always Will Be

**“Aren’t you scared of me?” She whispered, ever so faintly. She feels like she is drowning, and the only way that she can go is down.**

_“Scared of you?” Peridot scoffs as she gives a dismissal wave, “I’m not scared of you, I’m okay with you.”_

**“Even when at my hands there was a quartz begging for breath? She begged me to stop, she told me that she wanted death!”**

_“That’s an exaggeration-“_

**“Exaggeration?! It’s the cold and ugly truth- I’m not an angel, I definitely don’t have any youth like the ones that descend from the skies, I’m a snake aged with venom so you better not close your eyes.”**

_“You have a big heart and a personality of gold. Lapis, you need to start believing the things that you are being told-“_

**“You might as well from now on be wearing a blindfold. You’re dismissing all of my honesty by giving me a poor show of comedy.”**

_“Lapis…”_

**It burns to hear her say her name like that. It’s a fire and it’s burning a hole inside her. It’s breathing. It’s grieving. “What?”**

_“I know that you may feel alone…”_

**“I AM alone, so stop feeding me your stones!”**

_“But you’ve got me and a few more friends now. Lapis, you’ve got an entire world to behold and unfold you- there’s more to explore and more to endure, in the end it’ll all be worth it, it’s what you have been looking for!”_

**“Oh sure, and you look for reasons to dismiss me. Incredible. You don’t even believe me.”**

_“I don’t believe you because you speak from pain. You speak from loneliness- and I know that kind of strain! You feel like you’re a loner and you feel like you’re swirling in a sea. Lapis, please, heed what I say! Take it with a grain of salt if you must but don’t turn me away!”_

**“... I’m a monster.”**

_“Or so that’s what’s what you think which is a huge lie. You’re losing sight of what makes you good and it makes me want to cry. I’ve seen a Gem who’s been through it all, a Gem with a mind that’s been trapped in a brawl. You don't believe me because you’re in denial, but please let me in, just give me a dial! Let me show you that you’re wanted and that you’re not alone, that your past is the past and that you’ve since then grown. Let me show you- let me show you just one small thing, I can prove to you that we-!”_

**“FEAR ME?!”**

_Peridot paused, taking a step back as shock obliterated her face. Lapis breathes heavily, facing her with clenched fists. “No…” Peridot shook her head. “No. No- Lapis… we want to help you. Steven and I… we love you. We care about you-“_

**“... Just give me some space,” Lapis demands, turning away with a shake of her head. “... I… can’t- won’t- ever be loved.”**

**…**

**“I can’t… ever be loved.” She sits alone now in the dead of night, the moon illuminating her silhouette and the stars sitting as her guide. This world, this entire earth, it’s frightening and it haunts her. It kills her to know that it’s full of the thing that she yearns for- life. Love. Happiness. But she would be damned if she ever let a single claw of the inner white-maned beast touch that sacred innocence. She would not taint it. She would not even dip a toe into it. Her kind was reserved for the emptiness, a cradle made of hollowed carcasses and skinned pelts. Dead, just like the chances of letting herself simply be.**

**She had to suffer. She had to pay. She had to bite the bullet and do her time.**

**It would be to save them, if not protect them, all from her past sins. The blood, although old, still haunted her hands.**


End file.
